Y'all Come Home With Us

I grew up in a pretty rural town in Alabama. Growing up there in the 80's and 90's it was pretty common to go "visiting" folks.

No, really.

Stick here with me for a minute if you were born, say after 2001 or something. People would actually go and visit with people. On their porches. In their houses. They would just randomly show up and if a person was home, people wouldn't think twice about inviting them in to visit. (Now someone calls you instead of text you and you have a full on panic attack).

Often I would go "visiting" or as my mama would call it "loafing around" with my Aunt Jettie and my Uncle Harold (side note... they were my heroes).

When Jettie was finished visiting and ready to go home, she would always stand up, stretch a little, and then say, "Now... Y'all Go Home With Us." 

And then, without missing a beat she would say, "I'm just kidding with you, I don't really want you coming home with us. I was just being nice." :)

See, in southern culture there are a few phrases that people really don't mean. Let's just put it this way... "bless your heart" has nothing to do with blessing your soul.

But I've often found myself saying things that while I might have good intentions to say, I'm more saying it to be nice or perhaps comforting, but deep down I know actions would be better than words.

Phrases like "praying for you", "thinking about you", or "let me know if you need anything."

I once heard Steven Curtis Chapman talk about being convicted of saying "praying for you" after someone asked him to pray that he just started praying over people right there. Nothing long and drawn out, but he knew he had a better chance of actually doing it if he seized the moment and made it happen. If the person wasn't really feeling that, he would just say a prayer as he walked off. Now when people come to my office, or send a text and ask me to pray for them, I try my best to either stop what I am doing and pray over them then, or type out a quick prayer to give them something tangible to hold on to.

I have fallen into the trap of saying "let me know if you need something" to folks who I know are going through a difficult moment. Modern ways have made it much easier to "do something" in the moment. Now, if I catch myself saying that, I try my best to send electronic gift cards to Starbucks, Dunkin, or Amazon through text. Almost everyone can find SOMETHING at one of those places, and sometimes it's the prodding someone needs to just go take a break.

Another great modern way of helping someone is to send an Instacart order of groceries or gifts. A few years back when a friend came home from the hospital after having a baby empty handed because of a needed stay in the ICU, I just simply sent breakfast food for the boys that needed to go to school the next morning, dinner that could be thrown into the oven that night, and just some kid friendly snacks.

And even though I don't just randomly show up at people's houses anymore (well... kinda), I do try my best to actually go over and just start doing if I know someone is in a seriously bad spot. This was modeled for me when my kids were little and a dear friend would just show up to help with dinner time, bed time, laundry, or whatever else needed to be done when my husband was on shift at the fire department. My mental health was suffering during those times, and she knew I needed a life line and an extra set of hands or two. Most of the time we would end up on the couch just talking, but I needed that as well. Just a friend who was willing to be in the trenches with me to help me out of a hard moment.

I have to believe that this is what the church really looked like when she first started. People sharing what they had. A meal, a hand, a prayer, a visit. I have to believe that people followed through on their words to people and really took the time to be community.

What are some words that you can take action on this week?