May is the New December

Remember when December was the busiest month ever? Christmas parties, family gatherings, white elephant exchanges and cookie swaps.

Well, May came stumbling in like a drunk uncle and said "hold my beer".

If your May calendar looks anything like mine it looks like Party City threw up on it. At the last count we have 8 graduation parties, a dance recital, Mother's Day, a family reunion, 3 field days, a few end of the year parties, teacher appreciation week x3 kids, a 5th grade graduation, 1 wedding for our nephew, and a partridge in a pear tree. Throw in my job as an assistant principal in a special needs school and it's enough to make my head spin like a bad horror film.

And while all of it is good, it doesn't mean that it's not all overwhelming.

And for me when things become overwhelming a tide of shame and guilt rushes in telling me that I am not enough for keeping up with all of the demands of the month. I especially feel this as someone who works both outside the home at my regular job and then inside of the home as the keeper of all things calendar related. I can fall into the trap of comparison by looking at all the people who seemingly have all their crap together and quickly forget that people have different calendars and responsibilities than I do.

So, how do we do it? How do we get through May without losing our marbles or heaping more guilt into our lives.

1. Prioritize Your Calendar- Brandon and I will sit down soon and look through our calendar for May.

   1. Non - Negotiables - There will things that are non-negotiables. Our nephew's wedding, dance recital, 5th grade graduation... those are just a few that we have to do and they get placed on the calendar first.

   2. Priority Seating - Next come the things that we are making a priority this year, but that next year might not have the same urgency. For us my family reunion falls into this category this year. My mom has gone from 14 brothers and sisters to 1. That is a priority for us this year.

   3. Divide and Conquer- Field days, soccer practice, graduation parties, all become an act of divide and conquer. And some don't get conquered, and that's ok.

2. It's Not a No, it's a Not Right Now - our anniversary comes up every year in May... kinda how that works. But this year we are putting off celebrating until the summer when we take a vacation for just the two of us. There are some graduation parties we just can't make, but we can take those kids to dinner later on in the summer. Just because we can't make something work right now doesn't mean it's a no forever. It just means we will get to it when we can.

3. I'll Use My Life Line, Regis - from neighbors to babysitters to mother-in-laws, I'll take anyone with a valid driver's license these days. But seriously, it's time to ask for help if you need it. The worst thing they can do is say no, the best thing they can do is say yes and take something off your plate.

4. Repeat after me: I Don't Care What Shelia Did For Teacher Appreciation - or anything else (Sorry Shelia... thought I would give Karen a break!) But seriously, stop comparing yourself to people you don't live with on a daily basis. You don't know their schedule, their unhealthy habits, their hang-ups, or anything else. If someone else wants to make her teacher appreciation gift look like a storefront gift from Macy's... good for them. As an educator, I can promise you teachers don't care what it looks like. My absolute favorite gifts are the notes of appreciation. I have a whole binder full of them that I will look through when times get tough. Stop comparing yourself to how other people are pulling things off. Run your race. Not theirs.

5. Find Time for Routine - As easy as it would be right now to give up my routine and just sleep in a little bit more, I know I can't do that. My most important routine is in the mornings right now. I've been making myself have 10 extra minutes in the morning to just sit in my rocking chair and ask Jesus to hold everything I have right now. My kids, my marriage, our businesses, my job, my friends....everything. Or I am reaching out to the people who have the capacity for me right now who I can confess what's in my heart and on my mind. Or just standing in the yard at night look at the sunset. It doesn't have to be much to mean much, and those are the things helping to center me.

May is one month on the calendar. 31 days that will come and go. Our mental health and wellness is way more important than a missed engagement or activity. Prioritize, ask for help, and do what you have to do to make it to June a little less run down than before.