The Gift of Hospitality

When Brandon and I got married, money was tight and we were kinda young and broke. Ok, he was young, I had robbed the cradle. Even though we didn't have a lot, Brandon wanted to make our honeymoon as special as he could afford so he booked us a stay at the Cabell House in Charleston, South Carolina. If you know ANYTHING about Charleston you know that EVERYTHING is better there. The food, architecture, oceans, colors, streets, ambience, (did I mention food?), and the hospitality are seemingly perfect. The Cabell house lacked nothing in terms of charm and beauty. It was a bed and breakfast nestled in between the cobblestone streets that simply radiated elegance. It was everything you would imagine a bed and breakfast would be. It was filled with delicious but simple breakfast foods, rooms with crisp sheets and quaint decor, and soaps and toiletries that made you feel like you had stepped into a spa.

Core Memory

As great as all of the special touches were, the thing I remember the most from this visit was a special moment created by the host. Mrs. Randy Cabell had the loveliest English accent that just melted the world away the minute you heard her speak. She didn't know it at the time but she was about to give me a core memory by introducing me to my new name.

A name that just 24 hours prior I had not been known by.

For 27 years I had been Christy Davis (or Criddy, Crissy, and to very few people Tree Killer - more on that later when I talk about my driving skills).

When I walked into the house she called me by my new name, Mrs. Peevy. I was so stunned. I quickly looked around for my mother-in-law expecting her to be somewhere in the vicinity (on your honeymoon, weird, I know). She was taken aback by my reaction and realized that she was probably the first, outside of our pastor who had just announced us as married, to call me by that name. For the ENTIRE rest of the trip, she only referred to me as Mrs. Peevy and said it in such a sing-song, Mary Poppins way that made it delightful.

True Hospitality

I can't remember the brand of soap, though I remember it smelled of citrus and was amazing. I can't remember the brand name of the jelly on the toast, though I know it turned me onto marmalade. Sure, the little things of that visit are vaguely etched in my mind. However, the truest moment of hospitality came from her intentionality in realizing she had the chance to start me on my new journey of being a wife in the right direction. She gave me the gift of a memory that has stayed with me through these first 15 years of marriage far beyond the room, soap, or breakfast.

What Hospitality Is Not...

Let's start by defining what hospitality isn't. There is a huge misconception that hospitality has to be fancy, expensive, or perfect. Sure, there's something amazing by being able to go to a hotel, restaurant, or even someone's home and being entertained by nice things. But many people will put off hosting or gathering people because of what they DON'T have. They don't have the nicest serving utensils, tablescapes, or centerpieces so they don't entertain the thought of bringing people together. The comparison war gets waged and because your house doesn't have X amount of space, or enough seating, or isn't clean enough you don't give people the gift of ... YOU!

What Hospitality Is...

By Webster's definition hospitality is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. By our family's definition it is a chance to give people a safe space to find peace or rest. Is it wrong to have fancy utensils, tablescapes, or centerpieces? Absolutely not. Those things allow you to show off a side of your gifting or creativity... if that's what you like to do.

But the main gift you can give of hospitality is the gift of yourself as the host.

You already do this by the way. When you host the person that comes bouncing into your office with one more complaint, you are showing hospitality. When you engage with the bag boy at Publix who has special needs instead of shrugging him off like so many others do, you are showing hospitality. When you invite the mother whose husband is on night shift over for dinner, or the friend who just needs a place to come hang so that loneliness can dissipate, even if just for just a minute, you have shown hospitality.

How Do We Give the Gift of Hospitality?

Start small and be intentional. Gather up a few friends who you know need to be friends with each other and have a potluck. Allow others to help contribute so all the work doesn't fall on you. Invite a friend to coffee and be intentional in your listening skills. Hire a babysitter or enlist the help of some pre-teen neighbor and invite a frazzled mother over while your kids are entertained. It doesn't have to be fancy to be intentional. What matters is the memory you will help them create.

Give the gift of an intentional moment that will help others find their peace and rest.